Missing Church - July 25, 2010

I didn’t attend worship on Sunday, July 25. I wanted to. I sort of tried to. But I just couldn’t make it work. John and Joe and I arrived in Sioux City on Saturday so that we could begin our RAGBRAI journey bright and early the next day. My original plan was to find a congregation’s Saturday night service to attend, but after we arrived and got our bags and bikes gathered up, finding food became a priority of some importance. So I didn’t attend worship on this weekend.

I have two reflections on the experience of missing worship: I don’t feel too guilty about it, but I didn’t like it.

Guilt is that inner sense of shame that comes from doing something ‘wrong.’ In my case, the wrong was skipping worship. Guilt is a funny emotion. Ideally, it serves as an inner compass keeping a person ‘on track.’ When I feel guilty about something I’ve done or said or not done or not said, it’s an inner call to repentance or change, and it’s often quite helpful.

Sometimes people try to cause others to feel guilt in unhealthy and unhelpful ways. Parents are the most common offenders followed closely by their main surrogate, the Church. For parents guilt is a short-cut. Instead of educating our children about how they should behave and why, we try to short-circuit the process with a little quick guilt. Instead of saying, “Eat your vegetables because they are really good for your body;” we say, “Eat your vegetables because there are starving children in Africa.” Instead of saying, “Clean your room because it will make your life easier and good hygiene will help you stay healthy and find a spouse and move out of my house someday;” we say, “Your room is a pigsty and it’s breaking my heart.” The appeal to guilt is a short cut and while it may produce some results in the near-term, in the long term it tends to produce resentment between the inducer and the induced.

Over the last two millennia, the church has often found itself in the roll of a surrogate parent. We try to teach and scold people into being good and doing “the right thing.” In the process, the Church like a tired and frustrated parent has sometimes resorted to “guilt” to short-cut the hard work of teaching.

Do you know what this sounds like? “God made the whole universe for you; and you couldn’t find one hour last weekend to worship?” “Christ died for your sins, and this is how you repay him?” Etc, etc, etc… The problem with guilt is, even if it produces some results in the near term, finally it builds resentment and alienation between the inducer and the induced! In the long term it just doesn’t work. Worse than that, it’s counter-productive.

My rule is this: Don’t tell people that they should go to worship; help them experience the gift of worship. Don’t try to guilt people into doing the ‘right thing;’ teach them with words and actions and example why the right thing is right, and beneficial and God-pleasing.

So I missed worship on July 25 and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t guilt primarily. It was that I wanted to be in worship to receive the gifts that are offered there: grace, forgiveness, love, fellowship, understanding, the Word, the Sacraments.

People sometimes say, ‘You don’t have to be in a church to worship.’ Maybe, but I’m not so sure. What if I said, ‘You don’t have to be on a golf course to play golf’? Or ‘You don’t have to be in a grocery store to buy groceries’? Or ‘You don’t have to be in a hayfield to make hay.’? On some level it’s really just nonsense.

Worship is what happens when a community gathers. You can love God outside of a church. You can pray and read scripture outside of a church. You can do a lot of God “things” away from a gathered community, but is it worship? At best, at most, it’s a pale imitation.

So I missed church and I didn’t like it. Instead I spent some time praying as I pedaled between Sioux City and Storm Lake. I thanked God for those I love and asked that God would keep them safe. I prayed especially for John and Joe and the other riders. And I prayed for the people of Grace. It wasn’t worship, but it was a good use of time.

More soon,

Pastor Bernau